It's the beginning of a great new adventure.
I always knew that I wanted to go to college. Growing up homeschooled, growing up traveling, growing up in rural areas: these all were foundations for my childhood, and through them I have gained many things. However, they also cost me a great deal. I lost opportunities, skills, and experiences that most people grow up having. "Mastering my strengths, strengthening my weaknesses" has always been a fundamental way of how I live. College, in my mind, was the place to do just that; it was a place that had the opportunities to expand upon the advantages I had gotten from my unique childhood, while also developing the weaknesses that that same childhood left me with. It's just the beginning, but thus far I feel that college has been everything that I wanted it to be. I'm meeting new people, trying out new things, and exploring a wide range of resources. In class, I'm learning more about the UW, the world, and myself. The discussions I had with my parents about why I wanted to go to college and how I was going to use the opportunity to improve myself have since turned into discussions about why I love college, how I'm taking advantage of resources, and how I'm growing as an individual.
From the start, I had decided that my first quarter at UW would be one of exploration. I focused on taking advantage of a wide range of resources and meeting a variety of new people. In both endeavors, I was successful. Within my first week, I joined both a Taekwondo and a Swing dance class, where I learned new skills, destressed, and met new people; over the course of the quarter I went to a number of events, from UW symphonies to information talks on International Studies careers; and via a language exchange program I connected with an exchange student, who I now meet with weekly to practice Japanese. These are a few among a long list of opportunities I took advantage of this quarter. Testing the waters so early in my college experience, I feel much more prepared to take on what comes ahead. Already, I have my eyes on resources that I intend to explore in future quarters. Among these are the International Studies advisors, private music lessons, and the Pipeline Project.
Unexpectedly, I was much more outgoing in taking advantage of opportunities than I had anticipated myself to be. Throughout my life, communication and socialness have been constant battles, and while I have improved significantly in recent years, I hadn’t realized just how much more confident I was until I came to UW. More than just confident, I'm also less afraid; I’m eager to live my life to the fullest, and there’s no room for being controlled by fear in that reality. Initially I was hesitant to approach people and participate in events and programs, but as I grew more used to UW’s environment, that nervousness faded away and I was able to proceed with my resource exploration with little to no anxiety.
In consideration of a more negative personal discovery this quarter, I found that – despite an increase in outgoingness – I still have much more work to do in terms of developing my social aptitude, particularly in the context of class and class discussions. Even more than expected, growing up traveling and being homeschooled are affecting my ability to be vocal in class. While I have vastly improved in many areas of communication, I still get extreme anxiety and experience both a racing and blank mind when faced with speaking up in class. Despite being able to speak clearly – even eloquently – in comfortable situations, in the context of class and class discussions I still experience stuttering, blankness of mind, and a loss for words. One day, I would like to speak in public as confidently and controllably as I do in private—certainly a university-long, likely life-long, goal.
Apart from the unexpected in context of myself, UW has so far been a source of a great many surprises. In a lot of ways, this university hasn’t been what I had anticipated, and in almost all of those ways it has exceeded my expectations. The most unexpected and appreciated surprise is UW’s commitment to sustainability. Before coming, I was aware of Seattle’s attempts at becoming a greener city, but didn’t realize how much of a focus they made it. As somehow who deeply respects and has great concern for the environment, it’s been delightful to see how UW is attempting to be less wasteful, and I hope to explore more opportunities in this area during my time here. In addition, I didn’t realize how many resources UW really had, and how useful so many of them were. Things like Hall Health and Odegaard’s twenty-four hour library were services I didn’t think much about before but have found very useful during my time here.
In reiteration, up to this point my college experience has been successful. College has proved even better than I had expected, and I was quick to take on the opportunity and begin achieving my goals. I accomplished my autumn quarter goal of exploring UW’s wide range of resources, students, and staff. In addition, my sights for the future have expanded from the goals and expectations that I originally noted. In particular, within the next couple quarters, I hope to get connected with some opportunities related to my major and begin building a network. In the context of my entire college experience, I intend to consider and develop personal weaknesses I have found this quarter, and to work on turning them into strengths. I have a great many goals for college – enough that it'd be easy to feel like I was getting behind or losing sight of them. However, I feel confident with where I am at. In this first quarter, I have managed to take a substantial step towards those goals, and that's all I can ask for.
It's only the beginning of my college journey, but it's also a continuity of my life-long journey. Thinking of the past, of where I've come from – I've gone far. I have high expectations for myself, and in reaching them I rarely pause to bask in the moment and feel proud of where I am. I'm always "too far away from where I want to be" and any personal praise goes unappreciated. However, right now, I want to take the time to bask in the moment, and to truly pay attention and understand why I deserve to take a moment, even while being so far away from the finish line. The first quarter of my college experience is almost over, and I have taken a great step into the future. Right now, at the beginning of a great new adventure, I want to tell myself:
Good job. I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
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